kelzadiddle: (English is a Mugger)
As a point of interest, this was the first draft of my English Language media piece; a radio script about blogs. Our media piece was intended as a companion to our language investigation coursework - those of you who've been here a few years will remember that I analysed the language of blogs - and the media piece was a way of presenting our findings in an educational, entertaining way that was understandable to your Average Joe. This draft was rejected outright.

--------------------------------

[FX: Eerie music]

NARRATOR: We are about to take you on a journey through time and space.
CROWD: Oooh!
NARRATOR: A journey into an alternate world; one much unlike our own. The year is 2010, and all of humanity exist solely on... the Internet!

And so on and so forth... )
kelzadiddle: (keep calm and read Wodehouse)
I'm starting to think I should start a 'shit my boyfriend says' section on this journal, because some of the crazy stuff he comes out with is unbelievable. I bring to you all two shining examples, both of which occurred under the same circumstances. We were in bed, it was probably about two o'clock in the morning, and he'd just woken up, but was on the verge of sleep.

Example the first. I was just lying there, minding my own business, trying to get back to sleep after peeling myself off the wall, when all of a sudden he grins and murmurs "tee hee! Homework!"

I glance at him, baffled. "Pardon?"

He pauses, then opens his eyes, looking just as confused. "I think I was dreaming. I was having this dream where you were a teacher."

Said Kelza: "Okay?"

Said Jason: *snore*

Bizarre, right? Example the second. Again, just lying there, minding my own business. I'd woken up for no known reason when he just starts laughing and goes "That's madness!"

"What's madness?" I ask.

"I don't know," says Jason. And then he snores.

I think that sometimes he comes out with this weird stuff, not realising he's actually awake. That last one got me because I really want to know what set him off laughing in the middle of the night and he doesn't remember a thing. What was madness? I must know, dammit! Maybe I didn't hear the capital letter and he was actually talking about Madness, as in the band?

PANIC! SHE'S WRITTEN SOMETHING!

  • Feb. 20th, 2011 at 9:24 AM
kelzadiddle: (Write Like a Mofo)
This is what Holly does to me. IT'S CRIMINAL.

Under the cut lies two silly, unedited... things... spawned from a simple e-mail to Holly. In which Kelza tries to get Holly's main character done for squatting and Bella Swan comes to her senses. WARNING: May contain words.

HERE BE NONSENSE! )

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