Insert witty subject line here. Sod it. It's too early!

[kelzadiddle]

I've basically only just woken up. No sign of the postman yet (who should be delivering two CDs, a DVD and a vinyl some time soon), and I have one of those weird, dull early-morning headaches. I always get them after having the mother of all lie-ins.

So, the plan! First, I will have a glass of mango juice. Second, I will have a bath. Third, I will get dressed and dry my hair. Fourth, I will take that one hour brisk walk I said I was going to. Fifth, I will come home, stick a record on and tidy my room.

This, in essence, is my gap year. But at least I'm not being captured by pirates in Hong Kong or chased by Mexican banditos.

I've had a pretty neat idea for what we'll call 'the teatime dilemma' - the fact that teatime's the only meal that I don't have control of, as my Dad cooks it and he always cooks junk food. I'll just have cheese, tomato and lettuce sandwiches (the best sandwiches on Earth), and maybe a couple of Weetabix while I'm at it!

Comments

[spailpin-fanach.livejournal.com]

On the 8th day God created Weetabix and people of discerning taste were like THAT'S what I'm TALKIN' about, O Lord!

[chibikelzafox.livejournal.com]

I would reply, but my piddling Internet thinks that 888poker.com is so much more interesting than my own bloody journal. Have at thee, TalkTalk! *towel snaps ISP*

Also ARGH WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FORMATTING. *scuttls to fix it*

Little-known Biblical tale: on the eighth day, in striving to create said Weetabix, God inadvertently created cardboard. God looked upon his creation, chewed it and cringed.
"Bugger me," said God, "it tastes just like Bran flakes!"
And so he cast cardboard down to the earth. Then, when he created humans, they discovered the cardboard, half-buried in the lush forests that would become the Sahara.
"Cool," said they, all in unison, "cardboard! Let us make boxes from it! Our homeless will live in it! Our children, in favour of the expensive electronic toys that are packaged within it, will play in it! Huzzah!"
Meanwhile, up in Heaven, God got drunk and subsequently created Britain.

[spailpin-fanach.livejournal.com]

Several weeks after the development of cardboard, our Father was sitting in His office watching stuff happening on Earth on His webcam, when He was struck by inspiration. What if cardboard were...CORRUGATED? And if He could corrugate cardboard, what COULDN'T he corrugate? Metal! Plastic! Roofing tiles! People's hair in the 1930's! And the sides of this musical instrument that He'd been tinkering with all week--and so the first functional accordion was born.

...Subsequent to the period of divine alcoholism that brought us the accordion and Britian, the Lord went on the wagon and got the DT's. Among His frightful hallucinations was the United States.