kelzadiddle: (English is a Mugger)
2011-07-11 09:14 pm

From the Archives: A Rather Old Product of My Insanity

As a point of interest, this was the first draft of my English Language media piece; a radio script about blogs. Our media piece was intended as a companion to our language investigation coursework - those of you who've been here a few years will remember that I analysed the language of blogs - and the media piece was a way of presenting our findings in an educational, entertaining way that was understandable to your Average Joe. This draft was rejected outright.

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[FX: Eerie music]

NARRATOR: We are about to take you on a journey through time and space.
CROWD: Oooh!
NARRATOR: A journey into an alternate world; one much unlike our own. The year is 2010, and all of humanity exist solely on... the Internet!

And so on and so forth... )
kelzadiddle: (Louis Comfort Tiffany 2 White Flowers)
2011-07-04 12:26 pm

A Hypothetical Scene - Not Bloody But Blood-Related

INT. WESLEY METHODIST CHURCH - AFTERNOON

KELZA sits with JASON, holding his left hand in her right, her own left arm bare on the table next to her. A NURSE presses cotton wool against her arm where blood has recently been taken. A stern DOCTOR holds a blood sample, eyeing it with disapproval.

DOCTOR
I'm afraid we won't be able to use this blood, Miss Pilkington.

KELZA
(Confused, mildly annoyed)
Why not? You aren't about to tell me I went through that hell for nothing!

NURSE
Calm down, unless you want to faint!

DOCTOR
(Calmly)
We've taken the time to analyse your donation and the findings are - well, shall we say... interesting.

KELZA
Oh yes?

And the good doctor continued... )