Uh oh. The room's a bit of a tip, and Shannon and I only tidied it yesterday!

You'll all be grumping at me like 'yeah, yeah, whatever' when I say this, but sincerest apologies nonetheless for my less than consistent activity. Does anyone read my twaddle anyway? I don't know. But I'll still apologise to the people who do.

So. What are the latest thrilling updates from Planet Kelza? I have an essay deadline tomorrow for English in Transition - it's a comparative essay on two poems. I got Minecraft running smoothly by using the magic of changing my laptop's resolution. News from the home front suggests Dad's bought Thelma an immense three-tier ratty mansion and was speaking quite fondly of how she goes bananas every time he comes downstairs in the morning - yes, Dad, of course you hate rats. And I bought a poncho. Consequently I'm regretting not bringing my sombrero over to Ireland.

Plus I've started looking into student accommodation well in advance of next year, because as much as I love my family I can't be bothered paying Mum housekeeping (joking!) and because it's easier to stagger home drunk at 3am carrying a bowl of mysterious cake (I have done this before) when you live in Belfast. I'd lose my cake, and probably my life, staggering along the M1 if I still lived in Portadown.

This distance thing means I can't have much of a social life. All the cool stuff happens in Belfast and I just can't get back from it because the last bus is at about 8pm. I think. I really must ask. Maybe when I go to university tomorrow... but anyway, yeah, I never have anything to do and it's driving me crazy. Already. Plus living on my own means no bickering siblings, all the jaffa cakes I want and I can have Jason over a couple of weeks to - er - play chess. Ehem.

I don't even know what else I've missed out in this huge absence of mine. Did I tell you all the story about the HMV gift card my colleagues from the St Helens Star gave me, how it turned out to have £50 on it and I nearly had a heart attack in the shop? Or the time I bought a poncho?

Actually, I have a few letters to Jason typed up that I could get journal entries from. But I've been less than reliable even in writing those, so I don't know... I'll have to take a look.

Oh, by the way...

SHANNON: Where are Mum and Dad?
KELZA: Out kicking ass on the mean streets of Portadown.

This is a conversation that just happened. It amused me rather.

My Philosophy tutor (a thoroughly awesome guy with an equally awesome but impossible to pronounce name) got back to my e-mail yesterday regarding the fact that absolutely no Philosophy files have gone online for me. The files still aren't there so it's most likely out of his hands as I expected, but he's sent me a PDF of the module guide which is exceptionally useful to me.

Upon going through this, I've realised that the book I need to read ('Free Will and Determinism' by A. Macdonald) is supposedly available on Queen's Online. If I could get a digital copy, that would be all my problems sorted. If only I could actually find the damn thing!

I had a minor crisis earlier as well when I came to the PFC and the WiFi here wouldn't let me on either. You know those moments where it feels like absolutely everything is conspiring against you? This was certainly one of those moments.

Anyway, I just need to dig through QOL now, to see if I can find this bloody book. I've looked through the Queen's library catalogue (QCat) for it with no luck, so it must be somewhere on the digitised seas of the internet. It's all very confusing but whatever, I'll figure it out.

Soon, though, I'll have to pop off to my English Language tutorial. I wonder if I'll be given an essay in that, too?

I might do a series of blogs later explaining Rhythm, Metre and Syntax in poetry, for those interested. If nobody's interested - well, sod you. I'm doing it anyway. C:

Thus starts my third week at university! To think that when this week is over, that's a quarter of the semester out of the way. Then it's just nine more weeks until the Christmas holidays, and I can go back to England for almost three weeks.

When my Student Loan came through, the first thing I bought was a return flight to England. I'm flying out on Saturday December 17 and coming back on January 6; if all goes to plan, Jason and my Dad will be meeting me in the arrivals lounge at Liverpool John Lennon airport. I can't wait!

I've just had the week's lecture for English in Transition; we were doing Rhythm, Metre and Syntax, which is an area of poetry that I'm less familiar with - or was, prior to my attending the lecture. I understand a lot more now, which will help me both in writing my essay (more on that in a minute) and in writing my own poetry. Because I've taken a 'whatever' approach to writing my own poems, they've always come out rather ungainly - like a newborn foal or someone with an awkward gait. Hopefully in time, now that I know a bit more about how to structure the lines themselves, my writing will improve.

Oh yeah. English in Transition essay. You thought my five-week Philosophy deadline was terrifying? My first assignment for English in Transition is due in two weeks' time. And now I know what fear is.

English Literature is my thing, though. So ultimately the Philosophy essay is more scary. At least I know what I'm doing when I'm writing to compare two poems. In fact I know even more after just three weeks at university. As for Philosophy, yeah the deadline's further away but i know sweet fuck all.

I'd best get learning. It might be a good idea to get up the essay questions, make my choice quickly and get working. On both essays.

And holy fuck, I think I've just gotten onto the Queen's WiFi. HOW DID I DO THAT?!

Well, I'm not able to connect to the Queen's WiFi. Looks like I'll be hunting down some technical ninjas after all. I don't know what I did wrong, though - I followed the instructions on the WiFi handout they distributed yesterday so it should have worked... I probably faffed up somewhere. Maybe chose the WiFi program for the wrong operating system or something. I'll have to try it again tonight, when I'm at home.

I've just had my first ever Philosophy lecture! Contrary to yesterday's worries, it wasn't a tutorial - I forgot that there are lecture halls in the PFC that aren't on the ground floor! Anyway, it was a strange experience - the lecture was an introduction to Philosophy, which I'd assumed would have been the one I missed last week; I'd expected to come to the lecture completely clueless as to the course structure, to be thrown into some hardcore philosophising.

Academically, then, all is well in the world. I feel on top form in all subjects. English Language is a joy, English Literature is a dream... and from just one Philosophy lecture, I can tell I'm going to enjoy this next year very much! I managed four pages of notes, which I'm quite happy with, and got a good feel for what was going on.

Next up? My English Language tutorial. This will be after an hour of sitting in the Students' Union, harnessing all my willpower to resist the smell of coffee, the hunger in my gut and the colourful displays dotted about advertising a poster sale that's on. Must... resist... urge to spend!

( Anyway, let's talk WRITING! )

I seriously need to figure out how to get onto the Queen's WiFi. Well, since I have my library tour today, I might as well find some QUB IT ninjas who can teach me in the art of WiFitsu. And then I can access the good ol' Internet while in uni and SPAM YOU ALL. BWAHAHAHA.

Anyway, when I was polishing off this morning's entry, Mum asked me why I was still at home and I immediately realised I'd made a complete and utter arse of myself. When checking my timetable last night, I saw my first lecture was at 12:00 noon.

Okay then, thought my sleepy brain, I'll get the bus at half twelve. I'll be there on time.

( Yeahhh, that's not how reality works, Kelza. )