Good news! Two months, three letters and about five million phone calls since I first made my claim for Job Seeker's Allowance, they have finally confirmed that the required letter from university was received. Now I just need to wait to see how and when they will reopen my claim - they said I might have to fill in another application form, but hopefully that won't be necessary. It's not my bloody fault that the letter was sent off late, and it certainly isn't my fault that the Job Centre took so long to actually realise it had arrived!

Oh, and apparently my money will be backdated, new form or not. Phew. That means I can get some better-fitting clothes for an interview and/or work, and I can set up some pet insurance for the ratties and get them registered with a vet. That will put me at ease because I worry constantly about their health.

Speaking of which, I don't think Boffin and Barnaby are well. In the last fortnight they've both been showing symptoms of a respiratory infection. I'm hoping it's not Mycoplasmosis, which requires lifelong care with expensive medication - though if it is, I'm more than willing to work out a budget that allows for their treatment. In the meantime, while I can't get said medication, I'm keeping them warm and well fed with fresh fruit and veggies, as well as a mixture of green tea with lemon and honey which is supposed to do them good and encourage them to drink more. Oh, and I'm cleaning their cage obsessively - a wipe down every day with a wet cloth and full on disinfection every two or three days with boiling water, white vinegar and a rat-friendly disinfectant. So far their symptoms seem to be getting a bit better. Hopefully by the time I get paid they won't be any worse.

I'm preparing to put around £200 aside for their check-up and treatment. Maybe a bit more, depending on what vet I can find. The rest I'll set aside for an emergency. I've learned all too well this last year how crappy things can get if you don't put any cash away for an emergency.

Anyway, what have I been up to? Nothing much. I've divided my time between reading (1Q84 Book Three by Haruki Murakami), playing Minecraft (the Adventure Update came out on the Xbox! Yay!), being with Jason, looking after Boffin and Barnaby and planning my NaNo '12 novel! I can't remember if I've written about this before but I'm taking the notecards approach this time round - cutting up A4 paper into 8 pieces, each of which I will write random plot ideas as well as my established plot points, before arranging it all into some kind of order. This way, I feel I have the direction of a plan guiding me, without the restrictions of, say, just writing a synopsis down in a notepad. If I have a spontaneous idea while writing, I can just throw it in there without upsetting the whole thing. my NaNo 2009 went swimmingly using the very same methods.

The only issue I'm having is a slight creative drought. I have all my main plot points written down now; I just need a whole load of crazy random stuff to chuck in now; the stuff that makes my novel the freewheeling load of nonsense that it is. Maybe I should sit down tomorrow and read through the whole thing to see if there are any plot threads I can pick up...

I have to do well this year. I haven't actually written anything properly since NaNoWriMo last year. If I can make NaNo 2012 a success, it would be a massive step towards kicking this infernal depression and taking my life back. Plus, it would be a big help for my novel; this is the one I want to finish first, and NaNo 2012 could be the big boost towards completion it needs. Maybe I'll even be able to continue with it through to completion this time. I hope so. And then I can begin rewriting. And rewriting again. And rewriting again.

Tomorrow Jason and I are going to a Halloween movie night at Mike's, and then on Monday we're heading off to Southport again, back to the Scarisbrick Hotel! This is where we celebrated our first anniversary back in April, and this time we're going to celebrate the 13th anniversary of Caroline and Alan, some of Jason's family's friends. I'm really looking forward to it; it's going to be a much-needed break, and a great workout too. Going away means we'll be doing a ton of walking around, and this time we'll be making full use of the hotel's pool and spa facilities. I can't wait to see how many calories I'll burn! I'll be bringing my novel plan and a few pages as well, because NaNoWriMo will actually begin on our last night there! It would be great to get a few pages done in the hotel before bed (after midnight, of course!) and some on the car ride home.

But first, however, I need to plan...

Well then! It's been a while! Everybody should thank darkspirited1 for dragging me back. I've been thinking about LiveJournal for a while now, wondering whether it was appropriate to return for the five quintillionth time, and whether or not there'd be a digital angry mob with pixel torches and electronic pitchforks waiting to skewer me for my negligence. As it is there's only a keyboard awaiting me, and Semagic.

What have I been doing these past three months, you ask? After the horrible ol' business that was - er, is - 2012, I've just been recovering, trying to get over my depression, and getting my life back on track. I did keep a non-Internet diary for a little while, which I will probably type up and post here backdated to fill in the gaps, and I have a Tumblr for when I really needed to rant or post cute pictures of my rats... but after nearly six years of LiveJournal, I guess Tumblr and my diary weren't enough.

( Summary of my last three months under the cut for your convenience... )

And... that's pretty much it. I think. These three months have been pretty uneventful otherwise; I've just been going to pub quizzes, chilling out with Jason, playing the XBox and having moodswings. Hopefully I can get more active on here again, because I love my LJ too much to let it fade away. And I love you guys, of course. The time I've been away I've missed you all a lot <3

The WiFi didn't put up much of a struggle today! Not bad! That being said, I am using it in the Peter Froggatt Centre, which is nice to me as far as WiFi is concerned. But it's a nightmare in the stairs and navigation department.

I may be wrong, but I'm positive I was supposed to have a Peer Mentoring session today at 12. I got in on time, but there was nobody in their office. Oh well.

The Peer Mentors are basically a group of eight third year English students who take groups of first years such as myself in confidential weekly sessions where we can talk about our concerns, chat in general and have a laugh. My only concern right now is one they can't really help me with; I still can't get any of the Philosophy files on Queen's Online ('Free Will and Determinism' included) and it's driving me crazy. I need to read as much of that book as I can by tomorrow and I just can't find it! Argh!

I have a Philosophy lecture coming up, so I'll try and catch the lecturer beforehand and explain what's going on. Then, if I still can't get hold of the book, I just hope my tutor will be kind to me in tutorial tomorrow when I explain that I couldn't get hold of a copy. As soon as I can get it, I'll read it - hell, I'll read it twice - but if I can't get it today then I'm stumped for reading it in time.

I did an interesting calculation while I was on the bus earlier. My travel costs are £44 a week, right? I figured out that fifteen week's travel (so one semester) would cost me £660. So if I put 15 weeks' travel on my smartcard at the very beginning of each semester, before I buy anything else, life will be much less stressful. Most of my financial stress comes from worrying how my spending is all going to work out - whether I'll be skint by the end of the semester or not, and whether I'll be able to attend those last few weeks as a result. So if I prioritise my spending and make sure my attendance is covered first, followed by books, life will be much easier.

That still doesn't solve the niggling social problem, though. The buses don't run that late, so nights out are out of the question. I'm still planning on branching out socially; perhaps my smart card works for trains as well? This calls for research.

I'm also considering entering a competition online at a website called inktears.com - it's a short story competition and the prize is £1000, which would be most useful. The deadline's November 30, which ties in rather nicely with the end of NaNoWriMo - I'll try and get a few things put together before then and we'll see how it goes. Winning would be awesome, though. One, because it'll show that my writing is worth something and two, because that £1000 would cover a semester's travel plus something nice for myself, like an SLR camera or a bass guitar. Or books for the semester. Imagine the possibilities! If I won that, I'd have most of my student finance for leisure stuff!

Right, I'm definitely doing the Inktears competition.

This is kind of old news on Planet Kelza but I got my list of Semester One set texts last week and it is frightening. Just as long as I'd expected, yes, and with a heckload of additional reading to go with it... the scary part is just how I'm going to afford it all. Here's what my first semester requires...

( No, not an LJ Cut. I wish. The reading list lies beyond... )

The TV Beds fellow has been placated, thankfully, and my financial situation has been eased somewhat with my bus tickets being refunded. Steve said that since the normal expenses process would take too long - the money would only be paid at the end of September - he would give me the refund himself, out of his own pocket (yes, I thought I was tripping when he said this), and then he'd automatically be paid back as soon as the refund from Newsquest's accounts department went in.

He still owes me £5, apparently, but I'm not all that fussed - I just need enough to carry me over the weekend and to Wednesday. I'm so grateful that Steve has agreed to do this, though, especially in the way he has, giving me the money up front - if anything, I owe him for taking me on, giving so much constructive criticism (highly valuable to someone as inexperienced as I) and for putting up with me. I'll admit that more than once I've felt a touch incompetent and something of a burden!

Actually, I think the whole St Helens Star news team deserves thanks. It hasn't just been Steve who's helped me out. Andy, Steven and Mike, too; they've all been willing to advise me and give me the odd nudge in the right direction. They didn't start me off with work that was too difficult, nor did they have me trundling away on church fillers for four months. And then there was the constant supply of tea and biscuits - which was my wage, according to them! Invaluable.

Andy and Steven have told me a million times 'don't be a journalist - it's not worth it!' - well, in fifteen years when I'm still a lowly suffering penmonkey on a regional weekly paper... they shouldn't have made the job so enjoyable, should they? :)

On a serious note, though, I couldn't have asked for a bunch of colleagues more accommodating of me and my limited experience. Even though I've only been there five months (and only two more weeks after this, sadly), I've grown as a person in so many ways. I've found myself with great people skills, a greater understanding of politics and law, insight into how the journalism world works on a local scale... plus I've come away with a portfolio and some amusing anecdotes to drop when I'm at the pub! None of this would be possible if they hadn't taken me on; I'm indebted to those guys.

I was almost an hour late into work today thanks to phoning both the Job Centre and National Express. News there is good-bad. I'll be going to the Job Centre at 11:40 tomorrow to renew my claim; I probably won't be on New Deal anymore but it's alright; as long as I get six weeks' pay and spend only on bus tickets, I should just be able to get my stuff to Ireland.

The Autumn semester starts on Monday, September 26, so I'll have plenty of time to save up and get my stuff over there. I've arranged with Steve to work until Friday September 9.

That was the good news. The bad news comes from National Express - as I expected, the coach tickets to Cambridge aren't refundable. Brilliant. That's £70 down the drain that I'd honestly be better off having.

It's going to be close, this whole moving to Ireland business. Not only will getting there be tough, I'm going to have to be bloody cunning until my Student Finance comes through, since the application went in a few months late. I'll have to make full use of the university's facilities until I can buy all my own stuff.

Speaking of university, I'm heading back to Cowley - Jason's old school - today to interview Oxford graduate David Mannion, who not only graduated with a First, he also won the Mary Somerville award for his achievement (awarded to all who get a First) and came fifth out of his whole year. He'll be about Jason's age, actually - I wonder if they were in the same year at school...?

I think life's starting to screw me around again. I went to the Job Centre to find my claim's been closed since I hadn't gone back within five days of my TNG course ending - I only found out it had ended the week after - so I am now living on absolutely nothing. I have to phone the rapid reclaim line now to get it all up and running again, which could set me back a couple hundred quid, at least.

I'll probably have to leave work an hour early today to get it all sorted out as soon as possible, because I can't afford to waste any time. I feel bad asking Steve for time off, though, for what is essentially my own cock-up, even though he said if I ever needed a half-day I need only ask.

( I'm sitting in Victoria Square right now, since there's no point going back to work for another half an hour. )

Having a quick break. This domestic violence story that was phoned in yesterday isn't fun to work on. I've been talking to both the victim and Helena, who apparently won't move her violent ex who lives next door, and no I have both sides of the story I don't know who to believe. She's claiming Helena are doing nothing to resolve this dangerous situation and Helena, ever the benevolent housing association, are denying any wrongdoing, and saying the ex-next-door actually put in a request to be moved as she has an injunction against him.

On one hand, the victim could be exaggerating and lying by omission (e.g. she didn't tell us about the injunction) in the hope that the press will give her leverage over Helena. But then Helena have got their reputation as a benevolent housing association to consider, too - they could be trying to downplay the story by taking away the impact.

So my head's completely frazzled, and my impossibly long to-do list isn't helping. I think I'll have to bring some work home with me, for once.

Money's starting to show its ugly side again. I have to visit the Job Centre again today to make it clear I'm still only volunteering so my money doesn't get stopped. My bus tickets will no longer be refunded so I'll be forking out about £80 a month that I won't get back. I'm not sure I can cancel my coach tickets to Cambridge and get reimbursed purely on the fact that Holly let me book them and then changed her mind on mode of transport to the Cambridge Rock Festival and I still owe her £28 for the hotel rooms she just booked out of the blue. Jason wants me to go to Ireland with him in August and I'm never going to be able to afford it - I feel awful because he really wants us to go and he's got his hopes up because until recently I thought I could manage it. Oh bloody hell.

I've just checked my bank account: £41. That'll cover bus tickets for another fortnight. No lunch for me, no books, no CDs, Vinyls, magazines or clothes. No eating out and certainly no alcohol. I'll be giving my bank card to my Dad except on Wednesdays, when I'll have to withdraw £20 bus money, so I won't be able to spend a penny otherwise. There'll be no lending and certainly no borrowing.

God, money is such a fucked up concept. People have been brainwashed into linking it with power. It's money that will make or break me going to university, for instance. It's just wrong on so many levels that I need cash to better my education. When we invented currency we were only condemning ourselves to generations of poverty and a mad struggle to have more than everybody else.

My meeting with Vicky has been rescheduled for Wednesday after work, which means that Jason will be tagging along - it'll be a nice little reunion! One with lots of teasing about, as Vicky put it, mine and Jason's 'love affair'. Should be interesting.

I seem incapable of typing today; I've just had to amend three typos in that first paragraph. Anyway...

Work's been quite busy the past few days. I've been trying to keep organised and on top of things but I've got so much going on at once that things have just blurred together - if you were to ask me about something that stood out I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Dad asked me to buy a couple of throws for the living room today. Our settee and armchairs are in horrendous condition and I guess he's just feeling a little awkward about letting Jason visit when they're in that state - not that he'd admit anything of the sort. So I went looking around... and if I'm honest, he can bugger off. I'm getting disastrously short on cash as it is without spending £24.99 and two lots of £17.99 (that's £60.97 in total) on the cheapest throws I can find that will cover our furniture. And I know there's no way he'd ever pay that back.

I've really got to stop neglecting this journal. I'd hate to look back in a few years and find it full of gaps where awesome or important things have happened but not been recorded.

Let me see - what's gone on over the past week? My novels and art remain at a standstill. I went to the pub with Sian and Emma last Saturday, then invited them to the pub quiz on Thursday. Emma dropped out on account of having no money so it was just Sian and myself, along with Jason, Lee, Dave and a few of the people who'd been there on my very first pub quiz night.

On Wednesday night, I stayed over at Jason's yet again after we watched 'The Hangover 2' - not because we watched 'The Hangover 2', just to clarify. Though it was a bloody good film! And that was also the third Wednesday in a week that I didn't go to the Jam Night. So Anna's probably out for my blood now. And possibly my kidneys.

As for work, work has been very busy, which probably accounts for 50% of my neglecting this journal. We're looking after The Leigh Journal while their editor's on holiday and last week, particularly the 26th and 27th, was absolutely manic. The amount of stuff I got done...!

( All that busyness threw the first part of Wednesday into stark contrast... )

There's nothing much going on right now so I thought I'd write a journal entry to kill time.

I was a bit late for work this morning because I had to make an emergency call to Student Finance England. I don't know if I've written about this before but there was a massive cock-up with my application: I'm starting university during the academic year 2011/2012, but my application had gone through for 2010/2011. Since I hadn't yet sent any evidence off I hadn't received a penny for this year, and as I was preparing to send my evidence off I checked my application one last time and noticed aforementioned mistake.

See, when we were given a talk on Student Finance in Sixth Form, the guy made no mention of what us gap yearrists or people staying on another year should do; or, to be more precise, when they should do it. And because so much emphasis was put on OMG DOING IT LYK RIGHT NAO I did it lyk right nao and look where it led me. This big faff with eight days to go until the deadline... le sigh.

To cut a long story short, they've cancelled the 2010 application so I can apply for financial help starting Sept 2011, and all will be right in the world. I'll have the money I need for tuition fees, books and materials - no huge panic like I had at the start of Sixth Form when my EMA took a million years to come through. Plus, I can set a little bit aside for other stuff. Flights back over to England during holidays, for instance. Paying for friends and a certain beloved Jason to come over. Books, CDs and vinyls.

( Cut for excessive wafflery. )

The camping trip never happened. Public transport to Helsby would have cost us a fortune, and the only time we could hitch a lift was Friday morning - since I had work on Friday, and Jason had a college then hospital appointment, it just wasn't doable.

Unfortunately, all this came to light after I'd bought a tent, double sleeping bag and some provisions for the weekend. I was left over £50 out of pocket.

Ah well - at least I still have it for when I go to Ireland. My stepdad Geoffrey suggested we camp up Slieve Donard one summer, so I've got part of what we'll need already. Plus there's nothing to say I can't kidnap Jason and take him to Ireland one summer; he could tag along!

As a result, I've had to change my plans for this weekend. As is usually the case when an exciting plan falls through, I had to think of something to compensate. Something that would keep me busy and distract me from the thoughts of what could have been. I got thinking pondering wondering and decided that I'd work on gathering a little compilation of my best writing to give to Jason, since I've told him so much and shown him - well, nothing. It would be nice to see him read some of my work; to gauge his reaction.

I also went on a job today, interviewing a local fellow for the paper. Eddie McConville, 80, has been involved in voluntary work all his life - he helped found his local residents' association when that kind of thing was unheard of. He's got an affinity for animals and has always helped to rehome sick and neglected animals. He's worked with the young and the old, forging vital links between the community, the housing association and the police force. He's got over 35 years of experience to his name, and today he's been given a Volunteering Award during an event that marks the beginning of Adult Learners' Week.

And you know what? He was so humble. So modest about his achievements; he managed to talk about his work in a way that suggested such selflessness was innate for him, and yet had not a trace of self-righteousness about him. He had some fascinating tales to tell, at that; it was a joy interviewing him. I just hope I can write a cracking article now that does him justice.

So yep, that's pretty much been my day. Other than that, I've been looking forward to Monday (Jason and I are going out when I'm done with work), watching Planet Earth with Nathan (and doing our obligatory running commentaries) and watching Neil Gaiman's episode of Doctor Who - which was fantastic, by the way; exactly the kind of episode I love and a definite improvement on last week's.

I haven't posted in a few days so I suppose I ought to do a few retrospective entries... Thursday and Friday were entirely different beings so it's not hard to differentiate between the events.

One bonus point of not going camping, before I shoot off to do those: Anna texted me last night saying how cold it was - well, I was bloody freezing just being in my own house. I am ridiculously vulnerable to the cold. I think if we had been able to go, I would have spent the whole day huddled up against Jason, frozen and trembling. Not that he would have complained. :)

Wow! I thought I was tripping out last night when I logged on and saw the little bar at the top of people's journals had changed, but apparently LiveJournal have been tinkering again. I'm on the fence about this latest edit; I don't really give a toss either way.

Last night, Anna invited Jason and I to a weekend bike rally with live music and alcohol. Great, thought I, remembering the two-man tent we had sitting around at home. Why not?

I was really up for it. Motorbikes, music and booze; come on, that's my idea of heaven. With added Jason, so it's actually better than heaven. I made a note to myself to check the tent in the morning to make sure all the bits were there and went to bed.

We don't even have the buggering tent any more.

When we lived in the old house, one of the local dweebs ruined it. Son of Eight; that kid couldn't let anyone have something he didn't have. Apparently he got in one day, jumped around inside and tore right through one of the walls.

So now I have to fork out for a reasonably-priced tent. If I'm honest, I'm a little bit irked as I hadn't expected that I'd need to spend anything on a tent. I thought I'd only be paying the £15 admission and then booze money. But because one little twerp got selfish a couple of years ago, I'm going to have to dig into my bank account. Again.

I think Wilkinson's might sell affordable tents - especially the big shop they have in St Helens that's right by the office. If not, there's that huge cash-and-carry on Baxter's Lane, Just the Job. That place is fantastic! I just need to find out when it closes to see if I can get there on time.

Happily, I'm going to TNG today to have two more bus tickets refunded. So I won't be as out-of-pocket as expected. What I get refunded should cover admission money and a tenner for booze, which is more than what I typically spend at the pub anyway.

It'll all be worth it, though, without a doubt. It'll be mine and Jason's first whole weekend together!