NaNo '07: [[65228 Words]] NaNo '08: [[6000 apx. Words]] NaNo '09: [[56247 Words]] NaNo '10: [[53051 Words]] NaNo '11: [[N/A]] The Great Couch Happening of '69: [[105700 Words]] The Chronicles of Stan: [[N/A]]



"Mirthless merriment, sickly sentiments so commonplace
It would bore you to tears
Give me non-stop laughter, dispel disaster
Or the Rotter's Club might well lop off your ears
Laughing and drinking, dancing, grooving, stoned again
Falling over singing, hoping that you'll share it!"

Some say that she speaks in 14pt Times New Roman, and that keyboards everywhere live in fear that she will some day own them.

All we know is, she's called Kelza.

Born in [error 404: year not found] in the proud town of Town, in the nation of Country, she was raised by geese in a local park and brought up entirely on bread and Sainsbury's shopping trollies. On a whim she joined a band of Intergalactic Super Ninjas, followed the Philosophy of the Platypus and, using a cheese grater alone, grated her way to the top.

Boredom gives her headaches and she's ridiculously prone to boredom itself. It's said that when the moon is blue she can talk to badgers. Reality is a mere concept, as is normality. She's also a massive fan of Pink Floyd.

She spends her time watching endless Top Gear, Stargate and Futurama re-runs. If she isn't in front of the telly she can usually be found sat at her desk, typing ten bells out of her keyboard. She traded her life in for a novel idea (one which she has been working on for several months now) and fears that she may have to put her sanity on e-Bay in order to finish it.

Her theme song today is 'Lunatic's Lament', but it changes frequently. As does her favourite colour. Oh, and the shape of her nose, if you look very carefully.

::Charities I Support::
Centrepoint [x] | The Prince's Trust [x] | (Heifer) Worldbuilders [x] | The Office of Letters and Light [x]
Amnesty International [x]

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