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It would bore you to tears
Give me non-stop laughter, dispel disaster
Or the Rotter's Club might well lop off your ears
Laughing and drinking, dancing, grooving, stoned again
Falling over singing, hoping that you'll share it!"
Some say that she speaks in 14pt Times New Roman, and that keyboards everywhere live in fear that she will some day own them.
All we know is, she's called Kelza.
Born in [error 404: year not found] in the proud town of Town, in the nation of Country, she was raised by geese in a local park and brought up entirely on bread and Sainsbury's shopping trollies. On a whim she joined a band of Intergalactic Super Ninjas, followed the Philosophy of the Platypus and, using a cheese grater alone, grated her way to the top.
Boredom gives her headaches and she's ridiculously prone to boredom itself. It's said that when the moon is blue she can talk to badgers. Reality is a mere concept, as is normality. She's also a massive fan of Pink Floyd.
She spends her time watching endless Top Gear, Stargate and Futurama re-runs. If she isn't in front of the telly she can usually be found sat at her desk, typing ten bells out of her keyboard. She traded her life in for a novel idea (one which she has been working on for several months now) and fears that she may have to put her sanity on e-Bay in order to finish it.
Her theme song today is 'Lunatic's Lament', but it changes frequently. As does her favourite colour. Oh, and the shape of her nose, if you look very carefully.
Amnesty International [x]
WRITERS! Want a link in my sidebar?
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Comments
- A: yeah, so?
- Q: in add_a_writer it said to come here for a good time ...
- A: yeah, so ... what's the question?
- Q: when does the good time start?
- A: you seem to be enjoying yourself
- Q: well, yeah ... but I'm really tired of playing with myself ...
- A: and you expect me to respond to that?
- Q: you don't give points for double-on-tahn-duhs?
- A: right; we also don't give points for cutesy-bootsy spelling
- Q: why not?
- A: It's the Queen's English; just because you're living in the colonies, doesn't mean you get to make shit up on your own
- Q: you said a bad word
- A: I was thinking something much worse
- Q: really? would you tell me what you were thinking if I dropped my pants and sang something from "La Boheme"?
- A: 1) you can't sing, and 2) even if you could, I get the feeling there's really nothing in your pants worth singing about
- Q: why are television-English girls so hot?
- A: it's our ahhhhhhkkkkk-scent; "sounds, good enough to smell"
- Q: I'm in love already, and we just met
- A: ...
That is all.
I'm hoping to get a laptop in Feb '11 some time - I may have mentioned that some time ago. If Dad actually keeps a promise for once, then life will be awesome again :)
Miss you too! <3
I'm not sure if you remember me but I'm just writing here to invite you to read and critique my work in my online writing portfolio. http://paintjack.blogspot.com
I'm not new to writing, but this portfolio is quite new and I need more readers and comments to improve. Also, would you like to link each other so we may get more readers? Do let me know, please. Thank you! xx
I'd love to critique your work; as for linking each-other, I still don't think my work is good enough for the wider world. xD Maybe in the future when I'm feeling a bit more confident about my writing.
I'll be happy to link you, somewhere, though. :) I just need to find a good, noticeable place on my journal where people will see such a link...
Good idea on the writing portfolio, though; I tried one a while back - it didn't go anywhere in the end due to my own laziness when it came to logging in and out of accounts but I found that it really encouraged me to get stuff out there. Hopefully you'll find it beneficial in the same way and keep doing so :)
Aww, I get what you mean when you talk about confidence. I'm actually quite scared when people start reading the stuff I write but I guess, in order to build up that confidence quickly it's better to let more people read.
And oh, as for my current location...I left livejournal and moved back to blogger because I wanted to make some money with advertisements. These advertisements don't work on Livejournal. :( But I still love Livejournal more than blogger! My new journal is tofumachine.blogspot.com!
And whether or not you're going to link me, I still want to thank you! It's really hard approaching people and get them to read my works without appearing to be extremely shameless :( Some people I've approached don't even reply and it makes me look very bad. So I must thank you for replying, and even taking the time to read my writing. <3
'in order to build up that confidence quickly it's better to let more people read.' - Oh, this! This to the moon and back! I really need to get more of my writing out there (despite my confidence woes) because it's better to be read, criticised, and improved than it is to simply improve on your own. After all, you are not your reader. And I know that, but I just need to enforce it.
I think a self-bribe of cookies may work.
I gave Blogger a try ages ago but I found it wasn't as versatile as far as layouts are concerned. It all depends on what you're after, really. I'll plonk your Blogger account in my bookmarks to have a gander later :)
I love reading other people's writing. If anything, I like reading unpublished authors' works more than I do published ones. It's weird, but you learn so much more about the craft of writing in that way, especially when the work is in early draft form. So no worries, and the people who don't reply are just ignorant. :P
I'm actually quite new to poetry. When i was a kid i tried to write poems but failed terribly because i thought that everything HAD to rhyme. Until I started studying Carol Ann Duffy's poems for Literature in school did i realise that I didn't have to make everything rhyme. I find it much easier to express my ideas in poems than in proses, but forgive me if some poems I've written are stupid and simply...lousy. That's how I feel most of the time when I've finished a poem boohoo
And LOL, what is your favourite cookie?
'Until I started studying Carol Ann Duffy's poems for Literature in school did i realise that I didn't have to make everything rhyme. ' - Same here :) I do write the odd poem myself, but I always feel awful afterwards in regards to their rhythm/the way they read. I always feel they're too disjointed and pointless. I don't think I've ever written a poem that I'm pleased with, to be honest :P
My favourite cookie? Whichever one has the most chocolate in. Are quintuple chocolate chip cookies possible? I hope so. :P If not, I will learn to make them (and burn my kitchen down in the process, no doubt).
Or acknowledge they exist.